FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
The North Pole – (December 7, 2011) – After a year of worry and trepidation in the North Pole, Santa Claus announced in a news conference today held by Yulu PR, that Christmas is still going ahead as planned.
The decision comes after a series of setbacks including a strike by elf workers on the toy line and the unexpected sinking of part of Claus’ workshop due to the adverse effects of global warming on its ice-based foundation. In addition, Claus’ star sleigh guider Rudolph “The Red-Nosed Reindeer” recently became a free agent and stunned the world by moving south to work with the Tooth Fairy.
“Despite these challenges, Christmas is coming to town!” said an animated Claus. “When we got right down to it, we knew the children of the world shouldn’t have to just settle for festive spirit and good will to all – they deserve presents as well. We’re equally committed to making sure all the young offenders out there will be getting a lump of coal in their stocking.”
Claus expressed that he is happy to have this issue behind him, as he has extra work cut our for him and his crew this year with all the address changes taking place due to the global Occupy Wall Street movement. When asked if Claus had plans to visit those sites with gifts or lumps of coal, he refused comment.
For more information:
Yulu Public Relations